I’m sorry you were surprised by this situation!
Like others, I suspect there’s an underlying issue, but that’s better left to an amazing therapist.
The other piece of advice I have is a post-nuptial agreement. Functions like a pre-nup, but is created after marriage (if you don’t already have a pre-nup). It’s worth considering if you’ve been surprised by the financial behavior of your spouse, to protect one another now by thinking through the financial ramifications and responsibilities of a future split (which hopefully never, ever happens.)
I’m a huge pre-nup / co-habitation proponent, as it forces these discussions into the light, and attorneys being involved can clarify agreements that can be left unsaid.
Good luck in moving forward from this, and I hope your wife shifts from finding solace in things to finding solace in more meaningful sources. (heart)